North Korea is loco. Many people know about their crazy leader and their crazy rules but do they know about the missing rabbits? It’s old news but still, I don’t think it got enough coverage. This is what happened.
This old German guy named Karl Smolinsky won an award for having the biggest rabbits in the world. North Korea somehow got ahold of this news and got in contact. We have starving children who need food Karl, they said. Lend us your rabbits so we can breed them and feed the children.
Karl was a nice guy. According to NPR, he said this, “During Hitler’s time and afterward, I remember how hard it was on everyone. I lived it as a child and wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I hope through the rabbits I can help a little bit, and that Korea might wake up and start caring more for its people than for the bomb.”
A rep from NK came over to hand select the bunnies, making sure to pick out the biggest and bestest ones. He didn’t want any rabbit under 10 kilos. Karl bid farewell to his beloved bunnies and sent over 12 of them to start a breeding program in NK.
Then things got crazy. As Spiegel reports, “The fate of 12 German giant rabbits delivered to North Korea is in doubt. The breeder who sent them suspects they have been eaten by top officials rather than used to set up a bunny farm.”
Karl tried to contact NK a few weeks after the bunnies were delivered. He was supposed to be flown over to help start the breeding program and to teach the North Korean caretakers how to look after the rabbits. But the North Koreans abruptly cancelled the trip, and then stopped responding to Karl altogether.
Included in the missing 12 was Robert the first, Karl’s top bunny and father of Robert the second. Robert had won various prizes and was Karl’s German gray giant, weighing in at a whopping 10.5 kilos.
Karl believes that the 12 are dead, and that they were possibly fed to guests at Kim Jong Il’s 65th birthday bash.
“I don’t think the animals are alive anymore,” said Karl, “I think they’ve been eaten.”
North Korea strikes again. While Karl and the world mourn the death of Robert and the other 11 bunnies, Kim Jong Il sits on his fat throne with a fat smile on his fat face while he smacks his fat lips, dripping with bunny juice. Thankfully Robert the second lives on, and the Robert lineage can continue.